Wow, it has been literally forever since I came on here. o_O
Update time!
Wednesday of next week I'm hopping a Greyhound to Texas to see Nick (my boyfriend). Should be fun, but it's broken my bank account. *sigh*
I just turned 19.
My '86 Mustang is almost drivable.
Other than that my life is boring lol.
-K

He Wiped Your Scars Away
Once upon a time, I was a happy little girl
And the way I lived was seeing joy in all the world
Then one day I realized that there were bad things too
It happened long ago and it happened because of you

You took me by the hand and you told me I was pretty
I should never have trusted you when you gave me no pity
You used me as your plaything for your own twisted desires
The way I see the world now is just a sphere hosting liars

I used to never cry at night and fall asleep in tears
I didn't flinch at all mens' voices because of old fears
You took the smiles that I gave to everyone I trusted
Replacing them with twisted sneers- my face feels like it's rusted.

I look into my mirror now and see the woman's pain
I'm only seventeen, but I'll never be a child again
You might have ruined me forever if God had not intervened
And sent me an angel to polish my tarnished heart to a bright sheen

Beyond the pain I see a strength I've never seen before
You made me into someone that I hated and abhorred
Now that scarred and broken girl is resting peacefully
She has been healed and repaired and transformed into me

My guardian angel protects me now from memories of fear
He stands watch over all my dreams, his strength is always here
His influence over my outlook gives my healed heart wings
My Battlefield Justice giver has made me a new thing.











Dangerous Seas
Siren calling
Sailor falling
A helpless man surrenders
Drawn towards pretty embers
Strumming
Thrumming
Fingers nimble across harp
Ships wrecked, rocks sharp
Treachery and deceit
Wrecking mighty fleet
Lone survivors beg
Reaching towards legs
Hoping to acquire aid
Killed by malicious maid
Shredding
Threading
His teeth onto a chain
Start all over once again
Sailor falling
Siren calling.






Just Not Here
Tonight I'm sitting at a computer screen
Watching you smile on a webcam
It seems just yesterday you said goodbye to me
Now it's just another day alone with my grief
This is my life when you're gone, love
I'm so tired of saying goodbye to you

And I hate that tonight
My pillow is wet with tears
And I'm sleeping in the shirt
That you left over here
I'm cuddling with the bear
That you gave me last year
And no matter what I do
You're just not here

She's standing at a graveside stone
Watching her grandpa through the tears
It seems just last week he taught her to drive a boat
And now he's gone forever
Her grandma is going to be alone
She knows death came too soon
Looks up at the sky, his star always shone
But that star has exploded tonight

I hate that tonight
My pillow is wet with tears
And I'm holding the shirt
That you left for me here
I'm hugging the old bear
You gave me for my first year
And no matter what they say
You are just not here

He's running down a beaten dirt road
And I'm staring with love and bliss
We waited so long for that
Now miles cut me off from your kiss

And I hate that each night
My pillow is wet with tears
And I sleep in that shirt
It still smells like you, dear
I'm hugging tight the bear
You told me could hear
And I tell it that I love you
Cause you're just not here.

......jealousy


the tears roll down my cheeks as i think about the past
knowing someone held you before me someone heard you tell them you loved them
knowing you thought you found the one before you found me
the pain of knowing you held someone before you held me
you kissed them before me
the thoughts race through my head and tears flood my face like a broken dam
the jealousy kills me
knowing you were in love before
i try to block it out but it gets stronger every second
i curl up tight wishing to end this knowing you're my only cure but also knowing your heart once lay with another man
knowing you cherished another
the jealousy kills me i wish i wasn't this way but all i can do is cry thinking about the past

==========================================

[ i lay staring into your eyes lost in awe of your beauty ]

i lay staring into your eyes lost in awe of your beauty
i stare into those brown eyes seeing my future unfolding before me
i close my eyes and let out a small cry of joy as i open them and you're still laying there staring with your beautiful smile
we hold each other tight and i whisper "yours forever dearest one" and smile and you put your hand on top of mine and whisper "thank you"
i kiss you softly and feel the sweet rush of love from your lips
we are wrapped up in our plans of our perfect happy ever after
i feel the salty sweet tear of joy roll down my cheek as i'm overwhelmed with happiness
i hold the world in my arms running one hand through your long brown hair
my heart beats your name and beats even faster as you lean forward for a kiss
then i lose my breath as our lips touch
i mumble "my lover"
and you mumble "always" and i smile as your cheeks turn rosy crimson

============================================

your guardian angel

i pick up the phone my heart is racing my palms are sweating and i don't know what to do
you're the perfect girl the perfect angel and i love u so
i hear your voice and freak out with joy letting my love flow out
you give me a high you make me so happy i wanna cry my emotions over flow and i just wanna shout
you're the best thing to ever happen to me you're the only person to give me such glee
you'ry my anael my venus my heart my joy my life my love
you're everything i ever wanted and everything i'll ever need
i'll promise to love and care for you and never do you wrong my baby girl
i'll always protect you and never forsake you
i've never felt this feeling before my whole body is tingling so could this be love
i drop to my knees and thank the Lord each and every day for sending me to you as your guardian angel
i'll wrap my arms around you and will let no harm come to you you're my girl and my love
come to me to always feel safe come to me to always get away
i'll always be here for you my love i'll always be your guardian angel
so baby rest your head on my chest and fall asleep no one will harm you while you're in my arms
i'll kiss your forehead and whisper my love into your ear
i'll stroke your hair and hold you tight
i'll be here in the morning waiting for my beautiful angel to wake up

I try to speak the words that my heart screams unheard is it enough
I try to explain that you're the one I want to be holding when I take my last breath is it enough
I try to tell you that my love is true and that I'll never leave is it enough
I reach out for you knowing I can't yet hold you so I try to comfort you with my words is it enough
My body aches to hold you my heart screams to love you is it enough
I think of you all day and come home to tell you how dear you are to me is it enough
I come to you with nothing to give but my black torn heart is it enough
You fill my dreams and you are the angel in my nightmares- I wake to look over and see the bed empty where you should lay and wish only to see you there is it enough
I want to wrap you in my arms and never say goodbye is that enough
I'll hold you and watch you fall asleep and kiss you softly whispering my love to you is it enough
I'll fight back my tears and stand strong to show you I can handle anything as long as you're at my side is it enough
I'll give you all I have and work all day to see that one smile is it enough
I'll fight off anything that threatens you and make sure you receive no harm ever again is that enough
I'll give you forever is it enough
Please tell me baby...is it enough


-by Justin Passmore

<img src="http://a613.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/30/l_140715a4e143c211c762f4a3764c38f4.jpg" alt="I miss him " />

<img src="http://a624.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/25/l_94ae41caffde7400d9d718387f6848cf.jpg" alt="His arms fit me perfectly" />


The jpegs are there.... idk why they willnot work >.<